Jealousy

Pongo is a momma's boy.  During Pongo and my early years together I was single. Although I dated, I did not have a steady boyfriend.  Most of the people who came to my home were women.  Pongo received my undivided attention much of the time when we were together. 

I didn't notice a difference in Pongo's behavior when I started dating my husband in 2008 until we moved in together in 2009.  Then, Pongo started displaying signs of jealousy.  When I would stand in the kitchen embracing my husband and we would kiss, Pongo would come stare us down and bark.  We tried telling him, "it's okay" or telling him "no," but to this day I can't hug and kiss my husband without Pongo protesting.

When I was single, Pongo slept at the foot of my bed with me.  But when Del and I decided to merge our homes, Pongo was then relegated to sleeping on the floor at the end of the bed.  If Del went to bed first and I climbed into bed later, it wasn't a problem.  But if I went to bed first and Del tried to crawl into bed with me, Pongo would growl and nip at him. This was alarming to both of us.  My gentle, sweet Pongo did not like my husband getting in bed with me! 

At the time, I was taking Pongo to advanced obedience classes, and when I confided in the instructor about this new behavior, she suggested that we try using Bitter Apple.  Bitter Apple is a product that you spray in the dog's mouth or on items you don't want them to chew.  It has a very bitter taste and dogs really dislike it.  The advice is that when the dog engages in an undesirable behavior, you spray it once into their mouth.  The next time the dog engages in the behavior, you spray it twice, and so on, increasing the spray each time until the dog learns not to do "it" anymore. 

Pongo, as expected, hated the taste of Bitter Apple. When he got his first spray of it, he immediately jumped off the bed and stopped growling.  The next time it happened, he jumped off the bed as soon as we picked up the bottle.  But Pongo continued to growl and sometimes nip at Del when he would come to bed.  Del and Pongo spent much of their time together in 2009.  The economy had tanked and Del had been laid off from work like many others.  Pongo spent the days following Del around the house and yard until I would get home in the late afternoon.  It hurt Del's feelings that they could be best friends during the day and then Pongo would turn on him when he tried to get in bed with me at night. 

Finally, I realized that the behavior had started when we moved Del's bed out of the bedroom and replaced it with the queen-sized bed that Pongo and I had always slept on before I had met him.  I hypothesized that the scent of that bed had something to do with him claiming it. We decided to swap them out and put Del's bed back.  Amazingly, it worked.  The territorial behavior stopped. 

Pongo has adjusted to being part of a family and loves Del.  But he is his momma's boy. When I come home, he greets me excitedly and wants to be by my side (unless Daddy's in the kitchen, then he becomes Del's shadow in hopes that he'll be given a little nibble here and there).  Sometimes when I am away, Pongo will sit or lay down by the back gate for hours, watching for my car to return. 

 

My wedding at Ponderosa State Park, McCall, Idaho, August 6, 2010.

I guess the jealousy goes two ways sometimes.  I like to say to Pongo, "who's my best boy?" and sometimes my husband replies, "I am."  I love both the men in my life.  In 2002, Pongo changed the way I looked at the world.  He gave me peace.  In 2008, Del brought me love and devotion and gave me hope for the future.  He gave me what I'd always wanted: a family.